Monday, April 2, 2007

7pm Tues * Sabres at Pens * Rangers at Isles * Sens at Devils

With the success of Black Hockey History Month, we here at Hockey Night in Chinatown immediately began making plans for a similar salute for Women's Hockey History Month.
The entire staff gathered around the computer and we started searching for images for Dave to mutate into appropriately demented (and non-legally actionable) flyers.

Predictably the searches quickly deteriorated from "women in hockey" to "women kissing" to "hot lesbian czech teens toying" (truth be told, we never completely typed in "women in hockey.")

The ensuing work stoppage was equalled only by the time Mike brought back a bunch of sushi back from Flint for the office and left it by the radiator all morning. At first we thought it a simple miscalculation in safe food handling protocol, until we realized he had crazy glued the doors to the bathrooms shut. No doubt he was trying to punish us for something (probably his being born in Flint.)

So stifle your nausea (bring a bucket, if need be) and come on down to...
Hockey Night in Chinatown
105 Eldridge St.
(btw: Broome Street and Grand Street)
Tuesday - March 27, '07
from 7:00pm to 12 midnight.

This week:
The Buffalo Sabres at the Pittsburgh Penguins
The New York Rangers at the New York Islanders (in voluptuous HD)
The Ottawa Senators at the New Jersey Devils

At any rate, with our interest in women actually playing hockey (sorry girls, er, womyn, whatever) in full retreat against the more peripheral (that is, bouncier) results of our arduous googling (as in "He got google all over his keyboard."), we elected to salute the women who dig hockey or at least hockey players.

So below are some links to fill your day and your computer screen with pop-up windows until the hockey starts:
Janet Jones-Gretzky, Mrs. Great One:

Angelica Bridges: the former Mrs. Sheldon Souray:

Elisha Cuthbert, Sean Avery's (??!!) girl:

And a big list of the "Ice Girls" (strippers) for NHL teams:

And of course our (involuntary) model for the flyer this week:

We don't know if any of these links are safe for work. After Tim's flare gun accident last week "safe for work" has little to do with stuff on the computer (we are a little concerned that he downloaded a .pdf of the Anarchist's Cookbook.)

Also, if you're dopey enough to show this email to your wife and/or girlfriend (especially if she plays hockey) then you deserve to stay home and watch American Idol instead of drinking beer, eating pretzels and yelling at high-def pixels dancing with the likes of Sidney Crosby and Jaromir Jagr.

Come on down and buy Mike a beer for his birthday (April 1st, no fooling.) AKA

You do not want him coming to your home.

Trust us.

Scotty, we love you.

No comments: