Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Calgary Flames at Detroit Red Wings - 7pm Tue 27 '07

Here at Hockey Night in Chinatown we are thankful for:
1. William Scott Bowman.
2. Hockeyyyyyyyy!!!
3. Labatt Blue.
4. Satan ( No, not Miroslav Satan, but Old Nick, the Prince of Darkness, that little guy on the Underwood Ham Can.)
5. The Pens beating the Senators the night before Thanksgiving.
6. Those wonderful, magical beer mugs at Madison Square Garden with the built in pretzel rod holder. Genius.
7. Astroqueen, and really Scandinavians in general. From Henriks Zetterberg and Lundquist to the Hellacopters to Jarko Ruutu (who got the game winning shoot-out goal for #5, go figure) to Alfred Nobel, inventor of dynamite ( an essential tool in our work here at HNIC't.)
8. The Rangers are finally rolling.
9. That it's still only November (Come on Pens!)
10. The 11 foot thick blast doors at the Hockey Night in Chinatown Corporate Bunker (sometimes to keep things out, mostly to keep things in.)

So choke down yet another turkey sandwich and waddle on down to...
Hockey Night in

105 Eldridge St.

(btw: Broome Street and Grand Street)

Tuesday - November 27, '07

from 7:00pm 'till the police show up 'cause we committed a felony on one of the kick-ball party kids.

This week:

The Calgary Flames at The Detroit Red Wings.

We were going to have a list of stuff we weren't thankful for as well but we got to "Gary Bettman" and "The Canadiens losing back to back games to the Sabres," when Rev. Timmy punched himself so hard in the face that we had to take him to the infirmary at the HNIC't Corporate Bunker. Once there, we overpowered the staff, got all goofy on Percocet and Demoral, gave each other adrenaline shots and held rather noisy and uncoordinated wheelchair races the rest of the night. The infirmary staff were paid to keep quiet and have since all been issued side arms. What could go wrong?

Once again,

We are thankful for the blast doors.

Scotty, we love you.

Again...Blast doors.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Detroit Red Wings at St. Louis Blues - 7:30pm - Tues. 13 Nov. '07

If you recall, last week we were all uppity and cheerful about the Rangers, Pens and Habs all getting shutouts. Well since then we have paid dearly. The Pens are at the bottom of the Atlantic Division, the Rangers lost to the Islanders. The Habs lost a good one to the Senators. And we're sure there's more to come. Rev. Timmy's so mopey he can't even muster the gumption to climb up into the catwalks. He just shuffles around the Hockey Night in Chinatown Corporate Bunker in a housecoat drinking herbal tea and is up to washing his hands about 200 times a day (that whole flicking the light switch on and off while reciting prime numbers is getting kinda annoying, too. And creepy!)
Eighty-two hockey games a season, eighty-two reasons to cry.

So blow your nose, wipe your eyes and shuffle on down to...
Night in Chinatown

105 Eldridge St.

(btw: Broome Street and Grand Street)

Tuesday - October 23, '07

from 7:30pm to whenever we get sick of the kick-ball kids (ugh, don't ask.)

This week:

The Detroit Red Wings at The St. Louis Blues

We were hoping we could count on a lead-pipe cinch but Chicago even got the Wings to stumble this Sunday last.
At least in St. Louis we've got a chance to see our long lost buddy John "J.D." Davidson, whose commentation we sorely miss.
Come back J.D.!

Everything is forgiven!

Scotty, we love you.

Monday, November 5, 2007

New York Rangers at New York Islanders - 7pm - Nov. 6, '07

If you wondered why time and space seemed to warp slightly this last Saturday night in the New York Metropolitan Area before you had ingested whatever gear you use to get your third eye open and keep your spiritual five-hole closed we can explain it quickly and simply.
Our hero in all things (not just hockey) William Scott Bowman was in attendance at the Nassau Veterans' Memorial Coliseum to drop the puck for Al Arbour's 1500th game as coach of the Isles and alas, 740th win and 782th victory overall (second only to Scotty.)
The Islanders beat the Penguins and the Leafs beat the Canadiens, so after both losses Rev. Timmy disappeared into the catwalks over the workshop grabbing most of our new pornography and all of our Rye, but not before vandalizing the bumper pool table in a manner so foul, so inhumanly brutal, that our lunchtime bumper pool tournament was not only canceled, but all references to it in our records have been expunged.
would not reappear until after Monday night when the Pens, the Rangers and the Habs all came in with shutouts. We're not really sure how he watches the games up there but the blood curdling hollers and smashing glass do seem to coincide with the progress of the games (His favorites are "Go stand by the fucking goalie!!!" and "I don't know whether to cry or wind my watch!")

So expunge yourself off (oof!) and saunter on down to...
Hockey Night in Chinatown
105 Eldridge St.
(btw: Broome Street and Grand Street)

Tuesday - Nov 6, '07
from 7:00pm to 10pm or so.
The New York Rangers at the New York Islanders.

Space-time shenanigans must've been afoot in Toronto as well Saturday night as Don Cherry had nice things to say about Saku Koivu AND Jaromir Jagr.

In other, sort of, hockey news our good buddy Mike Jay got one through his lovely wife Libby's "five hole" about nine months ago (eww, that sounds kinda extra filthy, sorry) and we are excited to welcome to the planet the newest Red Wings fan:
Miss Adelaide Wilde Jay!

Momma and baby are doing just dandy. As are the Red Wings.
Saké Mike's
convinced that they're so bad ass this year that we should send them over to Iraq to clean house and then have them take care of global warming and digital music rights.

Our gal Miss Jilly is so excited she's throwing an after Hockey Night in Chinatown and Welcome Miss Adelaide Jay Party at:
St. Jerome's
155 Rivington St. btw Clinton and Rivington
10PM till the cows come home.
So stop on by, or the terrorists win.

The whole Red Wings cleaning up the middle east is enticing, but that would violate our prime directive here at Hockey Night in Chinatown:

Keep Hockey Cold!

Death to Islamic Hockey Scum!!!

Not really, but it was just too silly to resist. And anyway they started it... After we sorta started it...ummmmm...errrr...

Addy, Gracie, Libby, Mikey, Scotty, we love you!