Finally we get some REAL hockey.
Last night in the Hockey Night in Chinatown Corporate Bunker we had to wince and grimace our way through a truly lousy showing by the Rangers against whom? The first place Senators? (whom the Rangers trail by only two points) Their cross-Hudson rivals the Devils? The resurgent Islanders with their super-duper rent-a-line?
Nooooooooo! The Rangers instead put their ass in the air and punked out for the Carolina Hurricanes. Now NC is not a bad place for college basketball (basket-what? what-ball? what-what?) and they seem to enjoy their NASCAR as much as the next bunch of button-down and khaki wearing, new money frat-boy, South-will-rise-again folks (Stupid Confederacy; worst losers ever. The Union stomped their ass flat more than 140 years ago and they're still fightin'. Feeble-ass crackers.) But Carolina ain't hockey country.
Never fear, though. All will be made right Tuesday night when the Montreal Canadiens (est. Dec 4th, 1909, Bon Anniversaire!) host, all the way from Hockeytown, U.S.A., the Detroit Red Wings (est. 1926.)
So stow your Stars and Bars, send your Klan suit out for a good cleaning and drive your bedless pickup truck down to...
Hockey Night in Chinatown
105 Eldridge St.
(btw: Broome Street and Grand Street)
Tuesday - October 23, '07
from 7:30pm to whenever the floor gets too slippery from the blood of kickball kids.
The Detroit Red Wings at The Montréal Canadiens
We would also like to note the passing of Evel Knievel, as he was once owner, coach and player for the Butte Bombers minor league hockey team. There's an excellent documentary on the History Channel called Absolute Evel: The Evel Knievel Story. It has the man himself in all his lunk-headed glory explaining why he was a modern day gladiator and not some dope too stupid to realize that jumping 50 buses on a motorbike could possibly end badly. Around here we just use him to feel better about ourselves. We've all made some pretty questionable choices here at Hockey Night in Chinatown but we've never escaped from jail the day before release and ended up doing six more months.
Happy Landings, Evel!
If you're in the mood for some recreational voting, and really who isn't, we've got a couple things to keep your computer busy.
First, we need you to go to the NHL All Star Ballot and write in Jiri Hudler from the Wings for the West and Gary Roberts of the Penguins for the East.
Then, if you're not too tuckered out, head on over to the Greenpeace site where they're voting to name a whale. Our personal pick is Mister Splashy Pants and we urge you to vote for that name as the other choices are things like the Inuit word for "Jackasses who bother people while they are walking through Union Square" or the Australian Aboriginal word for "self-righteous prick."
You know any whale would shoot a harpoon right through your head if he could.
Mister Splashy Pants Wins!
So come on down and root for the Wings, the overall point leader in the NHL with 38, or the Habs, who glower down from their majestic throne of 24 Stanley Cups (more than 2nd place Toronto (13) and 3rd place Detroit (10) combined.)
It's proper hockey with no palm trees out in front of the arena
Goddamn Muther-bug-fuckin-A Right!
Scotty, we love you for winning Cups with both the Habs and the Wings.
Oh, and the Pens, too!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Finally we get some REAL hockey.