Monday, February 25, 2008

Pens at Isles - Devils at Canes - 7pm -Tue 26 Feb '08

Now that we're at the trade deadline (3pm Tuesday) and we're down to the last twenty games we're just as busy as beavers here at Hockey Night in Chinatown.
Or as Dave and his crack team of über graphic samurai monks (Iron Cursor Dojo, Clan of the Leaping Paint Bucket) have so nimbly illustrated, we finally have our ducks in a row (definition #3: a noisy, acrimonious quarrel, see above.)
Dave Guadalahorowitz and Rev. Timmy are currently under administrative censure as last week they managed to sneak out of the Hockey Night in Chinatown Corporate Bunker after curfew by concealing themselves in one of our weekly shipments of used pornography to our sister organization Thai Boxing Night in Americatown which is held each Tuesday in Phnôttannăăz in the Americatown section of Rangoon, Myanmar (formerly Burma.) Once the boys had slipped their leash they went on a serious Deejaying spree which included, according to trustworthy sources, many beers, much Tequila and some animated and no doubt hilarious falsetto singing along with Cheap Trick's Dream Police. We here at the bunker were incapacitated when, upon detecting the escape, the HNICt Corporate Bunker Automatic Security System and Lotto Number Picking Device quickly and efficiently filled the joint with knock out gas and silly string (that stupid thing hasn't EVER worked properly. We've had it for 3 years and it's still blinking 12:00.) Thus we were prevented from producing last weeks flyer. But that's all in the past. And, judging by the unpredictable nature of the HNICt Corporate Bunker Automatic Security System and Lotto Number Picking Device probably in our future as well. It's Mega Millions Lotto number predictions for Tuesday were 47, 55, 3 7/8, -148, 3 x 10^23 and 3.141592653...
Frickin' useless. Sigh.

So wrap yourself in used pornography, wipe off that silly string and sneak on down to...
Night in Chinatown


105 Eldridge St.

(btw: Broome Street and Grand Street)

Tuesday - February 26 '08

from 7:00pm till samurai monks crash through the skylight and chop us into tiny, delicious pieces.

This week:

The Pittsburgh Penguins at New York Islanders

And the New Jersey Devils at the Carolina Hurricanes*

In non-hockey related news our good buddy Richard Grant just published his 2nd book: God's Middle Finger: Into the Lawless Heart of the Sierra Madre

Richard spent the last couple years visiting Mexico's Sierra Madre region, one of the largest drug producing regions in the world, and has returned with many a tasty tale of treasure hunts, Apache hideaways, demented, depraved characters and drunken excess. It's just like Hockey Night in Chinatown without the Hockey or the Chinatown. So pick up a copy! We need to stay in the good graces of folks who can help us make it to Mexico when this whole Ponzi Scheme of Hockey Night in Chinatown blows up in our faces like the ridiculous, filthy, meth-lab trailer of an undertaking it actually is.

In hockey related news, here's some dopey hockey related stuff (sorry, most of the office equipment is still clogged with silly string.)

The trick is to evaporate the starter fluid without igniting it.

Always wear your safety goggles and hair nets, kids.

Scotty, we love you.
*Die, Confederate Hockey Scum!

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