Tuesday, March 11, 2008

New Jersey Devils at Montréal Canadiens - 7pm Tues 11 March '08

Well we finally bit the bullet. The time had come. Enough was enough. We'd hired extra security. We charged up the tasers. We hired two ambulances and had double supplies in the infirmary. The local Royal Canadian Mounted Police Post gave us two of those guns that shoot rubber bullets. We'd written down all the ways our bosses had hurt us here in the Hockey Night in Chinatown Corporate Bunker. We even borrowed a large animal tranquilizer gun from the zoo. We were all set to hold an intervention when Dave, Rev. Timmy and Saké Mike returned from their weekly visit to the Whole Foods Store where they hang around, eat all the free samples and try to pick fights with the customers ( They say it's just to keep them sharp. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get into a fist fight in Whole Foods?)

Well, they walked in the door and Dr. McCarty (who we flew in at great expense from the finest rehab facility in Kamloops, British Columbia) said "Gentlemen, this is an intervention!"
Dave said "I'll go after these two," and started rapidly texting on his iPhone. Rev. Timmy grabbed a goalie stick and started knocking off sprinkler heads. And Saké Mike just smiled and said, "You are all lucky I'm not still doing that stuff that lets me walk through walls and see through time."

After that it gets a little fuzzy.

When it was all over the Hockey Night in Chinatown Corporate Bunker Main Control Room was filled with smelly water. Three of our security guys tendered their resignations. Both ambulances had cracked windshields. Dr. McCarty had locked himself in the ladies room and wouldn't come out until we got his wife on the phone. Saké Mike was ordering take out sushi. Dave was halfway through a Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles marathon. And Rev. Timmy, the tranquilizer gun and the office large print version of S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders were nowhere to be found.

Oh, and the copier was jammed.

Needless to say we learned our lesson and from now on we shall let sleeping dogs lie ( lay? No, it's lie, right?)

So admit you have a problem and come down to your weekly meeting at...
Night in Chinatown


105 Eldridge St.

(btw: Broome Street and Grand Street)

Tuesday - March 11 '08

from 7:30pm till we remember to check that the paper tray is inserted properly.

This week:

The New Jersey Devils at the Montréal Canadiens.

In Hockey related stuff, here's Donald Brashear knocking out Shane Hnidy with one punch.

Hello, my name is (your name here)
and I'm a Hockey-holic!

Help yourself to coffee and cookies.

Scotty, we love you.

No comments: