Monday, April 28, 2008

No Hockey Night in Chinatown due to technical difficulties.

After Monday's loss by the Canadiens to the Flyers (Flyers up in series 2-1), Rev. Timmy filled a garbage can with human waste (where does he get all that stuff? does he save his own?) and Semtex (where in the HELL does he get THAT stuff!!??) and set the whole thing off in the middle of the Hockey Night in Chinatown Corporate Bunker Master Control Room. He then piloted one of our hot-rodded Zamboni Ice Resurfacing Machines down the hallway from the Hockey Night in Chinatown Ice Rink Complex and Bulk Beer Storage Facility (a rather remarkable feat of fine hand-eye coordination for a gentleman in such an agitated state, believe you me) and crashed it into the Hockey Night in Chinatown Reception Desk (luckily Charlene was getting a Snapple Iced Tea at the time), the then exploded the propane tanks, filling most of the rest of the office area in dirty snow and hot, jagged Zamboni pieces (oh, and more curiously, little green plastic army men.)

With Saké Mike out of town and Dave too busy with real work to help, we all headed for the exits and sealed the 11 foot blast doors behind us.

As we all ran to our cars we heard, at excruciating volume, the following booming out from the air vents.

Tomorrow it's Pens at Rangers at 7pm and Wings at the Avs at 10:30.

We're all gonna go over to Charlene's and watch it there.
She's gonna make Chex Mix and celery with peanut butter inside.

See ya next week.
We hope.

Scotty, we love you.

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