Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Last chance for HNIC't Fantasy Hockey

Hey folks! When we got into the Hockey Night in Chinatown Corporate Bunker it turned out we had left two of our Cray XT5 Supercomputers playing Dig Dug against each other all summer.
As a happy side effect we accidentally figured out a solution to this whole The-housing-boom-will-never-stop-so-lets-give mortgages-to-who-the-hell-ever-cause-what-could-go-wrong-wait-whoops-where-the-hell-did-my-bank-go Big Giant Government Bailout thingy.

Just give $2 million dollars to every man, woman and child in the United States.

That would only cost about $600 million or so compared to the $700 BILLION they're trying to get Congress to pony up.
(Wait, where does Congress get their money? )

That would give us $699 or so BILLION we could spend on bombing people that hurt our feelings (or we think may possibly hurt our feeling in the future.)

Speaking of folks that may (nay, invariably shall) very likely hurt our feelings (along with our bones and/or organs), Rev. Timmy still has some room in his Hockey Night in Chinatown Corporate Bunker Fantasy Hockey League. It's totally free and nobody really knows what's going on (least of all, Commissioner Rev. Timmy) and it would do us a real solid if you cats could sorta, you know, soak up some of his extra time.
(Heck, even Dave's doing it.)

The draft is automatic, but it'll go off at 5pm on Wednesday, October 1st (or whenever he gets up.)

Three more days then (!!!!!!!!!):
Rangers v. Lightning in Prague

12pm ET on MSG

Penguins v. Senators in Stockholm

2:30pm ET on NHL Network (used to be free on Direct TV, but who knows?)

Ohhhhhh, baby! We can taste it!

Reg Dunlop, we love you!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Fantasy Hockey League - Fun! Profit! Violence!

In an ongoing effort to keep Rev. Timmy's tiny, evil, raccoon-like paws busy (so eerily human!), we've decided to make him Commissioner for Life of the
Hockey Night in Chinatown Corporate Bunker Fantasy Hockey League (he can't possibly be noticeably worse than Bettman.) And seeing as he's alienated
most everyone here in the Bunker both generally and personally, we are appealing to our loyal subscribers to flesh out the ranks.

So c'mon folks, if'n you can't make it all the way down to Fontanas in Chinatown in any regular fashion, why not stay involved by running your own Hockey Team
(if you're afraid of doing it badly, you can name your team after a place in the South DCHS.)

The Winner gets their likeness on a flyer and a mention in the email!
Whoever comes in last gets their likeness on 2 (!!!) flyers and mentioned in 3 emails!

So Join Up!
Just send a note to Rev. Timmy and he'll send you an invite.

Sign up now
or the Terrorists Win!
Or the Southeast Division, whoever you're more scared of.


HNIC't - Pre-Labor Day Über Rokkfest - Saturday - 10:30 or 11pm or so - 30 August 2008

No it's not hockey season yet (35 days and counting!)

And no, exhibition season doesn't count at all
(do you count the stuff on Cinemax as porn? You do?!
Well then you're hooked up to the wrong internet, fella.)

Heck, we're not even in the Hockey Night in Chinatown Corporate Bunker yet.
(We rent the joint out as a Fat Camp in the summer and it's full of pudgy children right now. Ugh.)

Anyway, Dave Guadalahorowitz and Rev. Timmy will be deejaying (to be generous) on Saturday at:


105 Eldridge St.

(btw: Broome Street and Grand Street)

Saturday - August 30, 2008

from 10:30 or 11pm 'til the wee foursies.

Saké Mike even threatened to show up.
And we've learned to take his threats seriously.
Deadly seriously.
(Not a pun.)

Happy Labor Day!
Hey, we're not even on duty, you're lucky you got the giant colored text above let alone a half assed flyer.