With the New York Stock Exchange plummeting faster than the Maple Leaf's playoff chances (we've got a pool around here as to what day in November the Leafs will be out of the running) things around the Hockey Night in Chinatown Corporate Bunker have been a tad more frantic and disorganized than usual (no mean feat.)
Rev. Timmy's investment strategy went from a strong position in Hockey related companies (Amalgamated Tooth, LLC , Canadian Blood Replacement Products, Zamboni Corp.) to a portfolio of almost entirely handgun ammunition, tear gas, dehydrated baked beans and little green army men (not in stocks, mind you, but the actual items. Charlene can barely make it to the fax machine due to several boxes of SuperBean! Spicy Style and a big bag of German Light Infantry cluttering up the reception area.) There is some talk around the water cooler that the Reverend's actions are not in response to the Stock Market, but a typically childish reaction to him being well in last place in the HNIC't Corporate Bunker Fantasy Hockey League.
Dave Guadalahorowitz's response to these trying economic times is somewhat more moderate. He spent all week tinkering with a 1973 XB GT Ford Falcon Coupe and glueing feathers to football shoulder pads.
Nothing says, "I'm ready for the end of times" like a car with right hand drive and a blower.
Saké Mike has taken his wife and barricaded himself in a deluxe executive suite in a Comfort Inn in Hackensack, NJ and explained that "If the wheels come off our entire economic system, the last place anyone will notice will be "The Sack."
So we're all a bit too preoccupied around here to get HNIC't together.
Not to fear! The fine folks down at Fontanas and Heeb Magazine have gotten together an Obama Fundraiser for a measly $50 you can enjoy Stand Up Comedy, DJ's, Live Music and...
(wait for it...)
(Shhhhhhh. Last time someone said "Open Bar" around here, Rev. Timmy ran right through a sliding glass door, smashed several items of (borrowed) patio furniture and ruined about a dozen and a half deviled eggs.)
So pour some boiling water in your factory sealed bag of beans, mix in the flavour powder™ and come on down to...
105 Eldridge St.
(btw: Broome Street and Grand Street)
Tuesday - October 14, 2008
Till then, why not ponder the fact that John McCain has the same first name as a guy who used to dress up like a clown and then rape and murder little boys.
The Devil is inside the eggs!
And the eggs are inside me!!!!!
Rev. Timmy spied the words "Open Bar" on my screen from across the room and now there's Spicy Style flavour powder ™ all over the place.
And there go the sprinklers.