Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Horrific Hangovers Hamper Hip Hockey Happening

Well, we were hoping for a nice, warm, jolly, old-fashioned Holiday Season but instead Saké Mike celebrated the season with a nasty chest cold. Dave Guadalahorowitz got some sort of X-mas gut bug that made him miss out on some serious upstate uncle action. And Rev. Timmy got him self locked into the Hockey Night in Chinatown Corporate Bunker by crouching on one of the toilets in the women's room (come to think of it, he's in there a lot.)

With everyone out a'wassailing, as it were, our good Reverend dismantled the entire computer system in the HNIC't Graphics Department and Internet Pornography Bookmarking Unit (Iron Cursor Dojo, Clan of the Leaping Paint Bucket) and two of our best zambonis in an attempt to construct a Professional Class Snowplow Simulator like the one here:

What he finally came up with looks like this:

When Dave saw what Rev. Timmy had done he was so angry he started texting in ALL CAPS.
We're guessing Dave halfway wished he was back in his room barely keeping dry toast down and watching The Sarah Conner Chronicles or a Planet of the Apes Marathon.

Since we're all busy soldering, desoldering, rewiring and un-reconfiguring the Rev.'s Christmas "Present" we're not gonna make it down to Fontanas.
(Rev. Timmy got bored of the thing after he couldn't figure how to make it spill hot coffee in his lap and wandered off onto the steppes wearing just a loincloth and a big fuzzy hat.)

If you really need your Fontanas itch to be scratched there's still good times to be had:
Punk Rock Heavy Metal Karaoke!
(In no way affiliated with HNIC't. They insisted we make this clear to you.)



105 Eldridge St.

(btw: Broome Street and Grand Street)

Tuesday - January 6, 2009

9pm till there's only person left and they want to sing "You Light Up My Life."

So head on down, wait your turn, sing your Krokus song and then rest up for next week:
Montréal at Boston.

Hockey New Year!!!!
We had a big list of resolutions for the Penguins, but it just comes down to: Resolve to stop sucking at hockey.
(3-7-0 in their last 10! Criminy!)

Scotty, we love you.


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